Droping the ‘F Bomb’

I am not a man to use obsentites. In fact, I think the only people who use them are just not intelligent enough to otherwise come up with a better or more descriptive means of communication. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but somehow only four letters seem to come to mind:

I was driving down the street going to work on Friday when a car pulled out trying to turn left and didn’t see me through the traffic. I was not injured. The “best” part is that the guy didn’t even stop. Another guy who saw the whole thing later told me that it was a Mexican driving a car without a tag. He probably didn’t have insurance anyways.

This now compounds with just replacing the $transmission$ in the car a month ago (though thankfully this guy didn’t my engine).

Unfortunatly I have not been having good luck with cars recently.

Yahoo Personal Ads

While I was bored today, I saw an ad for the Yahoo personals so I started browsing. There’s a big difference between looking and browsing out of boredom by the way.. But I was really surprised at what I found.

I started looking at female ads in general, and over 1,000 “matches” came up. I had searched for a woman 20-25 within 50 miles of Atlanta, so I don’t know if “match” is the right word, but after scrolling down about 10 people I realized it meant any woman with a pulse. So I decided to refine my search.

To humor myself I only put in broad categories to narow my search, but not to limit it greatly. I’m only looking for a 1 in 3 billion woman in the first place, but I was browsing. So, I narrowed my search to Women (duh), Caucasion, single never married, doesn’t smoke, Christian (except for Latter Day Saints), who is religious and attends services at least once a week. Considering there are about 40 different preferences, I thought that was still pretty wide open.

Boy was I wrong. The search came back with 81. For the mathamatically inclined that’s 8.1%. Considering my first search consisted of “more than” 1000, the percentage only gets worse. That’s a little discouraging, but it got worse as I started browsing through the profiles..

There seemed to be about a couple of categories these women fit in: new to the area and just looking to meet people, desperate (one subject line read “ready and willing”, and that was in my refined search!), completely unrealistic, and ugly (yea, I said it). I’ll focus on the last two..

Not to say that some guys aren’t unrealistic but some of these girls need help. Here are a couple of examples, I swear I’m not making these up:

1. A full time college student working two jobs who wants to be in a relationship. Are you kidding? How do you have enough time to sleep now?

2. “Looking for an ‘urban cowboy’…someone who loves to hunt and drink beer as well as enjoys the finer things in life” – I know that combination is possible, but isn’t it somewhat of an oxy-moron too?

3. A 23 year old female looking for a guy making $50,000+. Come on now..

Looking back through the enties there were not that many unrealistic women, but I did think some were funny. I found one headline that read “Laugh, you’re here too”. Classic.

I am not about to pretent I’m the next Brad Pitt here, but I would not characterize many of the girls to be drop-dead gorgeous.. But that is only my opinion and God had the foresight to make everyone’s perception of beauty different. Like I said earlier, I’m only looking for one in three billion here.

After such a mixed bag on the female side, I decided to use the exact same search on the gentlemen. Only for scientific purposes of course.. After first searching I swear the next matching criteria for guys will be “gang affiliation”. The most shocking part was seeing that the refined search turned in 150 guys. Every time I go to church / the Xrossing, it seems to be a female dominated crowd, but in yahoo it was totally the opposite. Maybe guys are just more upfront with their faith? Who knows.

One guy aparently has some evil friends who posted an picture of him asleep on the couch with the headline reading: “virgin seeking sex at any cost”. Very inappropriate, very funny.

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It is very easy to sit in my seat and be judgemental of people I’ve never met. I actually learned through this that I am a little more judgemental than I thought I was.. In a dating atmosphere I think people are a lot more judgemental anyways though.

And finally in an attempt at full disclosure, I am happily single for now, but I give to you my own exclusive personal ad anyways:

“Christian man seeks Proverbs 31 woman. War Damn Eagle.”