Museum visitor trips, breaks Chinese vases

From CNN.com -

CAMBRIDGE, England (AP) — A museum visitor shattered three Qing dynasty Chinese vases when he tripped on his shoelace, stumbled down a stairway and brought the vases crashing to the floor, officials said Monday.

The three vases, dating from the late 17th or early 18th century, had been donated to The Fitzwilliam Museum in the university city of Cambridge in 1948, and were among its best-known artifacts. They had been sitting proudly on the window sill beside the staircase for 40 years.

“It was a most unfortunate and regrettable accident, but we are glad that the visitor involved was able to leave the museum unharmed,” said Duncan Robinson, the Fitzwilliam’s director.

The museum declined to identify the man who had tripped on a loose shoelace Wednesday.

Asked about the porcelain vases, Margaret Greeves, the museum’s assistant director, said: “They are in very, very small pieces, but we are determined to put them back together.”

The museum declined to say what the vases were worth.

Hello, My Name Is _______________

Everyone I’ve ever met says they are bad at remembering people’s names. They’re all liars.

What they’re really saying is “I don’t believe you’re important enough for me to make the effort to remember your name”. It’s also possible they just weren’t paying attention, but that goes back to my previous statement.

Don’t believe me? How many times have you been introduced to a new boss and forgotten their name? There are also people you’ve never met, but you know their name. People I’ve never met – George Bush, Michael Jordan, and Bill Gates… the list goes on and on.

When I first moved back to Atlanta after Auburn, I made a conscious effort to remember people’s names because I didn’t know anyone. I eventually got pretty good at it, but over time I settled into a group of friends and again became bad at remembering names. I used to think that I would always remember the names of cute girls, but I’ve proved myself wrong numerous times on that one…

If you want to remember people’s names, you have to make an effort. It can be pretty tough, but there’s nothing people love to hear more than the sound of their own name.

Naked Baby Photos

So, I’ve worked with someone for about three years. She actually works for a different company, but we interact quite often. The funny part is even though I’ve known her for so long, I have never met her in person. Well, she just got back from maternity leave after having her first child. I sent her a congratulatory email, and she immediately responds back with a picture attached of the baby. How do you respond to that?

Lie. Lie like a dog.

To me, all newborns look the same. And they’re all ugly. It’ll be different when it’s mine – that’s how this thing starts. The parents automatically think their kid is the cutest, smartest, bestest kid to have ever been born. That’s why when you show the rest of us a picture of your newborn – we have to lie. Personally, I just don’t see it. Check back with me in about 7-10 years, and then I might be able to form a coherent opinion about your child. But for now, I’m going to help you believe whatever delusion you have. I may not be a smart man, but I know you never want to piss off Mama Bear when it comes to her cub.

Friday

7:49pm on a Friday night, and I am bored out of my mind.

I am SO cool.

If I Had A Million Dollars

Have you ever dreamed of winning the lottery? I guess it’s really a rhetorical question – of course you have! But have you ever really stopped to think exactly how your life would change if you did win the lottery?

I’m not going to take into consideration all this Powerball, Megamillions stuff – Just the regular, old-fashioned lottery. For emphasis, I’m going to use the minimum payout amount – $2 million. Now, let’s examine.

After taxes of ~$1 million, you have two options: a $20,000 annuity for 50 years, or sell your annuity for a (guesstimate) two-thirds value lump sum of $666,666.67. Invest that with an average rate of return being 12% in the stock market you’d have ~$80,000 a year off interest without touching the principle. Not bad, huh?

But at the end of the day – and this is really what I was getting at – if you won the lottery, how would your day-to-day life change? I bet here are a couple things you’d put on your to do list right off the bat: Pay off all debts. Buy a better car. Buy a bigger house. Go on a shopping spree. Right? But then what? Would you sit around the house eating bon bon’s all day? Sure that sounds nice for a couple days, but then what? My guess is eventually you’d get a job. But this one would be something you really enjoyed doing. Something you were passionate about.

See though – here’s the deal. Of all the things I’ve listed above, which things do you think are really going to provide true happiness? Be honest. All the stuff is fun – but will it make you happy? For me a meaningful worthwhile career is the only thing that comes to my mind. Otherwise, everything else in a version of my life after winning the lottery compared to my life now won’t make me any happier.

Don’t wait until you actually win the lottery to do the things you are most passionate about. Do them now. If you can steer clear of debt in the process, you might as well have won the actual lottery. It’s only a matter of perspective. =)

Desires

It’s time to add another entry to my collection of thoughts and ramblings, but what do I say?

Why are the things you desire most, often the hardest to attain? …and in pursuit of those things, why is it so hard to acknowledge that you’re not really in control of your perceived destination anyways?

Dark Chocolate is better than crack cocaine

I have a Godiva dark chocolate bar left over from christmas…. I can’t stop… I can’t help but let all of it melt in my mouth… and it’s better than crack cocaine. Not that I know what crack cocaine is like… but it can’t be better than this…

Serving Size: 1 bar
Calories: 230
Total Fat: 14g

I just don’t care anymore, I can’t stop eating it!!!!!!

Bon Jovi

Got a last minute call for Bon Jovi tickets. It totally rocked. (Many thanks to Alyson at WATL!!!)

These guys have to be in the mid to late 40′s yet it they still rocked, and it looked like they were having so much fun out there it was ridiculous. They played all the hits, and you just couldn’t have asked for a better show. They brought up Jennifer Nettles for two songs, one was a duet off Bon Jovi’s latest album I believe… but when she came up to the stage, the whole crowd went bonkers. Jon Bon Jovi was all over the ladies, and the ladies were all over Jon Bon Jovi.

Q: How do you tell who’s drunk at a concert?

A: Wait until the artist gets everyone to raise their arms and wave them back and forth. (Throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don’t care….)

This is partly a trick question though, because there will always be that guy that is waving his hands in the air, but is always going the opposite direction as everyone else. 10,000 drunk (some plastered) people can manage to sway their arms in perfect harmony, but there’s always one guy who just doesn’t have enough rhythm to cut it. Don’t be that guy.

While people watching, I also saw this other guy in the crowd who liked Bon Jovi way more than everyone else in the arena. So much so that he was head banging to *every* song. I swear he was trying to detach his head from the rest of his body.

So the guys are getting older, and Jon can’t hit the high notes anymore. But instead of trying, he’s smart enough to get some help, and I bet most people never noticed. Help came from the crowd, from the keyboard player, and even from a younger version of himself (sounded like they piped in some high, screaming parts from the original albums). But kudos for knowing your limits, and figuring out a way to deliver the goods without killing your voice.

When I first heard the show announced I really wanted to go but figured it probably wouldn’t happen, so I am very thankful that I was able to see it. I feel like I’ve now completed some musical rite of passage. I can now officially check Bon Jovi off my list of things to do before I… or well, hopefully more realistically… they die.

Know Thyself

Last night I took a test called the “Strength Finder”. It’s one of these tests that identifies your five greatest strengths (bet you didn’t see that one coming). Apparently my top five are: Connectedness, Maximizer, Individualization, Context, and Harmony. I’ve taken tests like this on and off since high school. Discovering your strengths, career testing, and all that jazz. After last night though, I finally realized I could save myself a lot of time by reading the answer types first.

See, last night I spent 45 minutes to an hour choosing between ridiculous things like “Would you rather do the hula dance or construct origami?” Then after the barrage of questions was over, it spit out the five types I had already read about and figured I was before even taking the test. That’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.

I also took a career test for fun recently. After finishing the answers were all like… artist, musician, writer, actor, doctor, lawyer. I don’t remember the specifics, but basically I was only given choices that required a ridiculous amount more of schooling that I’d never go through, or things I could have done with a high school diploma. Well, Crap.

With those choices, I’ll take the unemployment line for a $1,000 Alex. ……Maybe it isn’t too late to go back to school after all!

Asking The Right Questions

I was having lunch with one of my reps on Monday who is a bit older and also single (I won’t throw her under the bus and say how old…). Somehow we got into the topic of relationships, and it was fascinating to me how similar of a position we are in. It seemed like we were coming at it from different angles, but we both had the same issues. It was freeing to feel company but also scary in that she didn’t have any more answers than I did.

When I was younger I used to think the “adults” had all the answers, but the older I get the more I understand how few answers I really have. I almost wish I could go back to a time when I *did* know everything… we were all about 16…. Sound about right?

Dave Harper has said on several occasions that in your twenties there are roughly three questions you have to answer to really be able to move forward – The three M’s:

1) How do I make MONEY?
2) Who do I MARRY?
3) How will I MATTER?

I think about a lot of things these days… but you could boil most of my thoughts into some form or another of those three questions above.

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