That Time of Year

I can’t believe it’s already that time of year… again. We’ve reached that point where you are no longer looked down upon for putting up Christmas decorations. Where kids line up for hours to sit on a fat stranger’s lap. Where going to the mall is considered a contact sport, and where eating is considered an olympic sport.

It’s also time for Christmas cards. If you’d like one to be sent your way, email me your address.

TMF

The illustrious Sam Serio coined the acronym TMF representing “Too Much Family”. My family really is wonderful, I love them all and have a lot to be thankful for with them because I know others who are not as lucky… but why is it that when we get together for more than a couple days – and especially if we have to all ride in the car together somewhere – I would gladly sell them all in exchange for a Big Mac extra value meal?

Ok, ok… that’s a bit of an overstatment – I don’t really mean that. But still. Why could we as children tolerate everyone for more than a decade and a half, yet after we leave home for four years we never again want to spend more than a weekend back home?

On a seperate note due to several factors, my family has made the monumental decision this year to NOT embark in our otherwise annual “Christmas Triangle of Death” (see here for details). Given the circumstances, I believe that last year was the final year for the Triangle and I am forever grateful.

Happy Turkey Day

The Georgia Aquarium is a wonderful place that everyone should make an effort to go visit. That being said, I’m not so sure it’s worth a second trip. It’s not that the exhibits aren’t worth a second look, it’s just that it’s not worth having to deal with all the people again. A year after the aquarium opened, it’s still packed.

A person is capable of being quite intelligent, but groups of people are generally dumb as bricks. Add in little kids and strollers everywhere and it’s enough to make a person insane.

Will I be deported for not eating turkey on Thanksgiving? Well, I didn’t. I’m still stuffed, but there are no leftovers. I think that’s the way to go.

Random thought – It should be written into law that anyone singing the national anthem should be required to sing it using the melody in which it was originally written. I’m not just talking about the accents at the end of lines, I mean that if I can’t tell you’re singing the “Star Spangled Banner” without listening to the words, it just doesn’t sounds right. The last Thrashers game I went to, that happened. I had no idea what they were singing. Maybe they should be deported.

What Not To Wear

All wisdom can be found written on t-shirts, and in the titles of facebook groups:

“Dressing up in lingerie is NOT a Halloween costume… you look like a SLUT”

If someone throws a slutty themed party on any night – including Halloween, I’d be wary of the host as well as anyone who shows up in the expected costume… I realize I probably have a different viewpoint than most, but not without reason.

Bantu Migration

Bantu Migration is the term that a fraternity brother of mine in Auburn used to label the last day of classes before any prolonged break. The Bantu Migration is an all at once mass exodus of a college town.

Today was the Thanksgiving Bantu Migration out of Athens. It took me over two hours to get to Atlanta (which is twice as long as it should take), and I was stopped by traffic on four separate occasions. During one of these slow periods, a car besides me made the universal hand gesture to roll the window down – to which I complied. They proceeded to yell out “Roll Tide” to me and laughed (I have an Auburn license tag, and sticker on my car). I waved and said War Eagle back to them, and went on my way.

But there was something about the whole encounter that felt weird. First off, what were these Alabama people doing stuck in the UGA Thanksgiving jailbreak? And why did they feel the need to bring to my attention their allegiance to Alabama, less than one week after Alabama’s fifth consecutive loss to Auburn? I was tempted to ask them since we weren’t really going anywhere, but they weren’t exactly my kind of people. So I just let it go.

I should have given them a “thumbs up” with my War Eagle… but that would have been mean.

Iron Bowl 2006

My deepest apology to my friends who align with the University of Alabama, but this was too funny not to pass along. For those outside the rivalry, the following is an adaptation of the Auburn creed.

The Alabama Creed
We believe that this is a delusional world and that we can talk only about what Bear did. Therefore, we believe in the past, the distant past.

We believe in education, and though we did not technically attend the University of Alabama, we know a guy that did.

We believe in honesty and truthfulness, because when the punishment for marijuana possession is ice cream, there is really no need to lie.

We believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid. Well, maybe a little afraid of the thumb.

We believe in obedience to law, except for the ones concerning money laundering, because they hinder recruiting.

We believe in the human touch, even if we have to pay for it at seedy Pensacola strip clubs.

We believe in our Country, because it is a land of freedom, and where else on Earth could a man wearing a gold chain earn two million dollars a year losing football games.

And because Alabama men and women believe in these things, We believe in Alabama (football) and love it, when we are winning.


Roomate Chicken – Part II


Auburn – Georgia 2006

The Dawgs finally got their day – congrats, you deserved it.

War Eagle anyways!

Roommate Chicken

You all know how to play “Chicken“. Two people headed towards disaster… It’s all about who blinks first. Nowhere is this more applicable than in the context of having a roommate.

2 Roommates + 1 Bathroom = Roommate Bathroom Chicken.

I’m not going into details, but I’ll just say it’s past time. Who will blink first?

Peyton Manning and the NFL

I love Joe Montana, but Peyton Manning could be the best quarterback to ever play the game. He’ll have to win the big one to prove it to everyone, but the man is amazing.

I’m also amazed at how many endorsement deals he has – I keep waiting for an entire commercial break to only feature Peyton Manning endorsed products. I swear it’s gonna happen – it’s only a matter of time.

If I hear one more Chevy commercial playing that dang John Mellencamp song, I’m gonna loose it.

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