How To Stay Single

I’ll begin with the disclaimer that I make absolutely no allegation, declaration, or reference to my own life on this subject. These are strictly the observations of one casual observer on the world around him.

I am a firm believer in the league system of dating. No one likes to admit it, but it’s true. Unless you live in LA and regularly appear in blockbuster films, there will always be people in the dating pool who are out of your league. Surprisingly though, leagues are not solely defined by a person’s looks, though it does play a dominant role. Leagues are a combination of looks, personality, and socio-economic background. Have you ever seen an ivy league investment banker marry a waffle house waitress? …me neither.

So, how does this all fit into the title? The easiest way to stay single is to play out of your league.

The most important aspect of dating is self awareness. Taking that really hard look at yourself is the key. Guys – could you spend years only asking out models? Sure, but it probably wouldn’t be a wise investment of your time. Girls – do the “wrong” guys keep asking you out, but the “right” guys never seem to? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. Almost unfortunately, the “ugly guy”, or “plain Jane” ends up with the supermodel just often enough to give disillusioned hope to everyone else. Want to find your own league? Look at your good friends – similar people always tend to stick together.

Ultimately, the system as a whole won’t change for one reason – flirting. No matter who you are, everyone loves the attention.

We All Break The Same

Yesterday I was listening to a song that I’d heard hundreds of times before, but something suddenly clicked, and it felt as if I’d never heard it before. The same lyrics I’d mindlessly sung driving around Atlanta for months, suddenly had meaning. It opens like this… (emphasis mine)

The crowds roll by
and I’m falling in
everyone’s invicible
but its just pretend

and we all freaked out
what a shame
when only tears
know how
to remind us we all break the same

The human experience is remarkably similar. No matter who’s life you look at, everyone deals with the same issues. We are all very relational creatures, and the things that affect you are the same things that affect me. Satan (if you will…) has done such an amazing job of isolating people, and convincing everyone individually that their pain is unique, when really, we all break the same. While that may not take away all the emotions, it’s really comforting to know that no one is alone.

The song is “Break the Same” by Mute Math. I give the song and self-titled album two thumbs up.

Grocery Store Awkwardness

Have you ever felt awkward, or the need to explain your purchases to the clerk at the grocery store checkout? Now, I’m not referring to things that are inherently awkward and embarrassing to purchase: adult diapers, female hygiene, or Pepsi products… I’m referring to combinations of things. Like, laxatives and an excessive amount of toilet paper.

About two weeks ago, I went by the store to pick up something sweet for a get together I was attending. I approached the checkout to solely purchase $8 worth of cookies and ‘two bite’ brownies. The cashier actually asked “have a sweet tooth?”. Which spurred an awkward conversation where I was required to explain myself. She then commented that some people actually buy that quantity of sweets all for themselves. Which I immediately believed would be a much more awkward conversation to have with someone than the conversation I was currently involved in.

Right……..

Announcement heard Sunday night (paraphrased, emphasis mine)

We’re going to a corn maze this coming Sunday. Give us a call if you’re going to be late, and we’ll meet up.

Crazy

The turn signal in my car broke yesterday. Not the blinking mechanism, the actual plastic lever. So, I did what any logical person would do – I went to Home Depot to purchase crazy glue… Only, instead of working in my car, all it did was leak all in my pants pocket… Awesome.

Is three months after a wedding too late to send a wedding gift and not look like a complete idiot? Yea… that’s what I thought.

Between entering my neighborhood and getting to the house, I drive by 10 for sale signs.

Pathways

Last week I was in the Washington DC area for work, and drove past the BearingPoint building. I thought it was an interesting snapshot after I was scheduled to interview in that building last June. I never went on the interview though because I accepted another position first. I guess not wanting to move to DC had something to do with it too =)

I think that regardless of what we do, as long as we’re trying, we all end up where we’re supposed to be – and the differences in paths taken to get there may be smaller than you think =) (I have zero evidence to substantiate that claim, but I like the thought)

Riverdance and Underwear

I promise that I haven’t forgotten about this corner of cyberspace. Just really haven’t had much to say…

Not a fan of dumb comedy, but tonight I saw an Arby’s commercial with chimps performing “Riverdance”. Don’t know why, but it was about the funniest thing I’d seen in recent memory.

When I was in Gainesville a couple of weeks ago, we were at a bar Friday night and randomly around 50 people (mixed company at that) ran by in their underwear. Apparently it’s some sort of tradition. Strange people.

10/10/79

=)

Starbucks

Starbucks is a lot like a bar. They mainly sell drinks, play music, and it’s usually fairly busy. Once you’ve been in there a while, it’s also impossible to get the smell out of your clothes for the rest of the day.

Life Goals

Is it sad that one of my life goals was to witness Auburn beat Florida in Gainesville? Well, I accomplished that goal last weekend. It’s almost a week later and I’m still excited about it! What made the weekend even better was making the trip in an RV. I think the healthiest food we ate all weekend was McDonalds. That’s how legendary this trip was.